Friends Reruns from a Hospital Bed
Recapping one of the weirdest weeks I've had
Sunday morning, I found myself in the local emergency room, a consequence of another round of syncope (fainting) episodes.
They aren’t frequent. And frankly, they don’t hurt. But they scare the daylights out of my wife, and so when I woke from my second fainting spell surrounded by 8 medical professionals at my bedside, I realized things were not normal.
Gone for how long?
16 seconds. That’s how long they said I “flatlined” in the ER. That’s twice as long as a man has to stay on an angry bull to win a title. That’s two-thirds an NBA possession as mandated by the shot clock. That’s almost as long as Bryce Harper’s incredulous staredown of Orlando Arcia in Wednesday’s game 4 of the NLDS.
When these moments of me “passing out” happen, I never remember them. It’s when I come to that I simply feel exhausted. Right before, I feel sick to my stomach and like I’m falling from an airplane. Basically the way it feels when your blood pressure is dropping through the floor.
And this time, it led to a three-day, two-night overpriced Airbnb stay at Spartanburg Regional Hospital.
Things can (almost) certainly be worse
So there I was, my body poked for blood and IVs. Everything from my head to my neck to my heart was scanned in multiple ways. I experienced my first MRI, but not as an uber-talented point guard fearing an ACL injury in my sophomore season as a pro. Nope. Just a middle-aged guy whose heart has an odd fixation on drifting off to sleep at inopportune times.
Fortunately, shortly after these episodes, I feel pretty good. Tired, but good. And Monday I spent the morning watching reruns of Friends, wondering more and more how we all thought the show was so great when often the writing feels so bad. (Joey really thinking he could make a fortune by meeting someone in the casino with identical hands? Meh.)
It was a reprieve, however, from Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, and all other news outlets showing us the unspeakable atrocities happening in Israel. Many commentators have described the attacks from Hamas as “Israel’s 9/11”. I beg to differ. Had Al-Qaeda flown planes into the Twin Towers then proceeded to land other plans and simultaneously kidnapped our wives and daughters and slaughtered our other children in front of us, then the two could compare.
So for 16 seconds, I was conceivably gone. So I spent three days in a hospital. So the heart monitor hooked to my chest and IVs in both arms were uncomfortable. None of it remotely compares to the despicable acts of terrorism (yes, it’s terrorism) going on in the Middle East.
Because at the end of the two days when I slept in a barely adequate hospital bed, I at least knew where my wife and daughters were.
Pray for the people of Israel and the innocent lives across the Middle East caught up in the endless wars of greedy, ruthless men.
Trying to regain focus
Back at home now, I’m still clearing the cobwebs from my mind. I’m reading about what foods to eat for a healthy heart. (Just got done munching on a bag of plain almonds). I’m moving a bit slower, breathing a bit deeper, and trying to not focus on the stress in my life.
Of course, the Braves don’t help when they crap the bed against the Phillies in a best-of-5 series. I’ve spent 30+ years suffering through heartbreak from the Braves, so what’s one more miserable October?
I’m hopeful the weeks ahead are filled with positive changes, time with family, and opportunities to get this book off to potential agents. Maybe I’ll even find time to catch up on my reading goals. That is unless another string of classic Chandler one-liners from Friends reruns doesn’t distract me.