The Fireplace Only Comes On When It's Cold Outside

The beauty of fall, basketball, and community

My wife and daughters know my rule: our fireplace doesn’t come on until November 1st. No matter how cold it might get in October, it will always warm back up. This is South Carolina, after all, a state where the seasons are schizophrenic at best. Last night it dipped below freezing. Christmas day will probably be 77 and sunny. You just never know.

But now the fireplace logs have been cleaned, the pilot light lit, and the gas-fueled flames are warming our home. It’s another sign of fall. It’s the most beautiful time of the year as far as nature goes. There’s nothing like driving around and having your breath stolen away by a large maple with leaves glittering a blazing orange.

The window by my desk showcases such a tree, situated diagonally across the road in a neighbor’s front yard. It still hasn’t peaked in color, but it’s getting there, and each day is a joy to see how it situates its autumn glory before winter strips it bare.

If it’s cold outside, it’s basketball inside

I’m not sure there’s any silver lining to my Clemson Tigers having a rather disappointing football season. It’s now culminated in Dabo Swinney having to passionately defend himself to a random fan. Thankfully, basketball season is here.

The NBA, my favorite professional league, kicks off its inaugural in-season tournament today. I don’t understand its purpose and don’t expect my Charlotte Hornets to go far, but I love the innovation. The NBA, for better or worse, is a forward-thinking league. Perhaps an in-season tournament will change the views of “fans” who don’t think basketball really starts until Christmas.

Speaking of the cold and basketball, the world of hoops lost a glacial presence this week when legendary coach Bobby Knight passed away. As great of a coach as Knight was, he was also angry. He couldn’t control his temper, or if he did, it was done so poorly. He’s a case study in the “separating the art from the artist” discussion. Knight won multiple national titles and has 902 victories to his name, ranking him 4th all-time among NCAA Division 1 coaches. At the same time, he left countless individuals in his wake to deal with at the very least insensitive and offensive remarks and, in some instances, physical abuse.

In my limited experience as an athlete, I never had a coach I could compare to Knight. I had one frustrated with us when we were goofball teens more interested in trying to dunk than learning proper zone defense. But even that man, Bill Henderson probably didn’t make the burial request Knight did before he passed away.

If it’s cold inside, you must be at church

Trevin Wax’s recent piece Prone to Dechurch, Lord I Feel It resonated with me. With what feels like weekly reports of misconduct and criminal activity among clergy from small and large churches, the desire to be part of “organized religion” feels less and less necessary.

Yet to not be a part of a church as a Christian is unbiblical. The article gives a great quote by author Jon Stott on what an unchurched Christian is: “a grotesque anomaly. . . . The New Testament knows nothing of such a person.” Even when I find myself tempted to pull away from the church and wallow in the comfort of my own loneliness, the hours I spend in community with other believers often prove to be nourishing, a balm to my dry and callous soul.

When people leave the church, it’s not typically teachings they disagree with, programs that don’t exist, or lack of discipleship, it’s the people themselves. Hypocrisy will always exist no matter what church we hop to or from. It’s understandable that pastors preaching one thing in the pulpit but living differently away from it would leave us with a bitter taste. I suspect many who have left, however, have not experienced the type of community the church was created to have. Even last night, sitting around a table with guys from our community group, I felt the sweetness of fellowship with like-minded people who a) know they’re messed up and b) know they can’t do anything to fix themselves without the abundant grace of God.

Other (not as cold) thoughts from this week

• SLEEP WITH YOUR SPOUSE, NOT YOUR PHONE: I loved writer Emily Gorcenski’s idea about getting better sleep and improving her mental health (and reading more books). I decided I would self-impose a “no phone in the bedroom” policy.

• MAY THE BEST TALLEST CANDIDATE WIN: This flap about whether or not Ron Desantis is putting inserts in his boots to appear taller is both sad and funny. I enjoyed Nikki Haley’s response to it on The Daily Show: “I’ve always talked about my high heels. … I’ve always said, ‘Don’t wear them if you can’t run in them.’ So we’ll see if he can run in them.” The whole fiasco reminds me of a great Seinfeld clip.

• RIP to CHANDLER BING: If you grew up watching Friends and now spend dull weeknights re-watching Friends, the sudden passing of Matthew Perry shocked you as well. To me, his character Chandler Bing made Friends so incredibly funny. This scene where he’s leaving Janice for Yemen will never not be side-splittingly hilarious.

• MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS: My post on LinkedIn about a recruiter asking me about my mental health resonated with a lot of people. Job seekers are in a tough place right now. Having empathy for them and asking them how they’re really doing can go a long way.

• IT’S QUERYING SZN: My novel synopsis and opening chapters are now in the hands of seven agents and soon to be more as I send out multiple query letters. I’ve read enough to know rejections will come. But I didn’t spend 10 months and 96,000+ words to simply take a bunch of nos and give up. When you’re passionate enough to get up super early for months on end and type in the dark, you’re committed to making it happen some way or another. I was glad to have this Jane Friedman piece to guide me through the querying process.

Thanks for reading! Whether your weekend is cold or not, I hope it’s a good one.